Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
