Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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