My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
