Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
