thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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