how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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