hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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