apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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