i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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