For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
