I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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