Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
