When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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