i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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