Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
