why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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