Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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