so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
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