Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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