she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
