i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
