I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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