That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
