If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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