Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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