did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
