yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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