Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
