I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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