Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I would fuck him just for his dog
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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