ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
