I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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