Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
