"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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