The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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