Is it because I queefed?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
