real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
