we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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