He told me they were just razor bumps!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
