I like my sex mixed with concussions.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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