Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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