Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
