The beer is more important than you right now.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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