i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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