She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize