There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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