I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize