I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i think my mom watched the whole time
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
