Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
This house was built for laser tag.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
