Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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