Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
