Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
