Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
