put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
how drunk are you?
Several
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
