and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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