I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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