Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
