she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
