Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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