If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
