Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
