Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
