I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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