Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm passing your future prison.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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