3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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