absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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