At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
