If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
